{"id":17826,"date":"2022-12-22T13:28:24","date_gmt":"2022-12-22T13:28:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ritusingal.com\/?p=4870"},"modified":"2026-02-17T07:08:25","modified_gmt":"2026-02-17T07:08:25","slug":"major-issues-in-parent-child-relationship-counselling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/webdevelopmentpro.online\/ritusingal\/blog\/major-issues-in-parent-child-relationship-counselling\/","title":{"rendered":"Major Issues in Parent Child Relationship Counselling"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

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A parent-child relationship is the foundation of all humanity. Right from the stone ages to the modern Internet age, this is one relationship institution that has stood the test of time and is so vitally important that, in fact, one cannot even imagine our civilization progressing without it. Though all animals (we too, are!) practice varying degrees of parenting skills to bring up their progeny, nowhere is the bond as intense and long-lasting as in case of humans, who often spend a lifetime of nurturing, care and concern bringing up children.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bringing up a little, helpless soul into a walking, talking, sensitive and productive human has never been a cakewalk, even in the best of times. Therefore, we can easily visualize the additional liabilities and risks it creates in not-so-good times. Though parenting everywhere is marked by similarities in the ways of nurturing, socializing, educating and training, there are major cultural differences in parenting techniques. And that\u2019s not without sound logic. The fact is, every culture practices parenting styles to raise children, who would turn into what the culture needs, respects and values. Consider, for instance, primitive farm-based cultures (which are still there in some parts), in which kids hold more economic rather than emotional value. Obviously, in such cultures, kids are, treated like that only i.e. economically productive tools. Similarly, all tribes put great value on individual independence as opposed to other, non-tribal cultures.<\/span><\/p>\n

In fact, the history and culture of an area impacts the prevailing parenting styles – the Chinese culture, for instance, is shaped by the Confucian philosophy of deference authority, devotion to parents, emotional restraint, and education. Thus, it\u2019s not surprising that Chinese parenting put great emphasis on training, governance and love. Ditto for the ancient Indian <\/span>gurukul<\/span><\/i> system, premised on great respect for authority, which puts great stock in devotion towards one\u2019s parents and elders, learning and education.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, it cannot dilute the importance of changing times, cultural diffusion and lateral mobility, which have brought about perceptible changes in parenting styles worldwide. Of late, Chinese parents are becoming more attuned to children\u2019s emotional needs and now give them independence and autonomy in a greater measure than before. Similarly, the parents in Western nations have developed higher expectations of their children in terms of academic achievement and keep a closer watch on their activities now.<\/span><\/p>\n

Parenting Techniques- Types<\/b><\/h2>\n

Most psychologists and life coaches recognize three major categories of <\/span>parenting techniques<\/span>:<\/span><\/p>\n

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  1. Authoritarian \u2013 disciplinarian<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Permissive – indulgent and<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. Authoritative<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Authoritarian parents, strict disciplinarians that they are, wield the proverbial stick quite often. So, punishment is quite common and communication mostly happens one-way from parents to children. This technique involves dictatorial decision-making, with the kids having no say in matters concerning them and the household. Quite expectedly, such <\/span>parenting techniques<\/a><\/strong> create rebellious or submissive and docile adults, who often encounter problems with authority figures later.<\/span><\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/p>\n

    As a life coach<\/a><\/strong>, my experience with p<\/span>arent counselling services<\/span> so far reveals that the authoritarian parenting style is popular with the Indian middle class, especially with those living in semi-urban and rural areas. This parenting style creates a lot of performance pressure on kids, with the parents demanding blood, sweat and tears from their children, especially in pursuit of academic excellence. Kota\u2019s private Rs.75,000 crore coaching industry, is ample proof of the Indian parents\u2019 aggression in this regard. Contrarily, this micro-managing of children\u2019s lives is rarely seen in Western cultures, where the kids are free from the crushing burden of parental expectations. Instead, their delicate sensitivities are a matter of debate in the national discourse, media and on TV channels.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Authoritarian parenting doesn\u2019t always work. This is amply clear from the rising number of cases of depression and suicides among such adolescents. Every child has the gift of some unique talents; therefore, a one-size-fits-all, plain vanilla approach isn\u2019t quite the done thing as a parent\u2019s job is providing a conducive environment to let the kids inculcate academic, social and emotional skills. Therefore, the parenting style needs to be adapted to suit a child\u2019s unique personality so as to let it reach its full potential.\u00a0 However, keeping the \u201cright\u201d and the \u201cwrong\u201d aside, we have to appreciate that every culture is a product of its unique history and that while parenting, parents always the good of their children at heart.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Directly opposed to this extreme on the Parent-Child Relation spectrum are permissive <\/span>parenting techniques<\/span>, which treat kids more like friends in a liberal parenting atmosphere. Such a parenting style often results in adults marked by little respect for discipline and rules, with the result that such adults face frequent problems with law.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Lying in the middle between these two parenting extremes is the authoritative parenting style, wherein the parents create reasonable boundaries and alongside, give the kids the guidance and freedom to decide on their own and learn from their mistakes. This style has been proven to be the most beneficial in creating a well-adjusted personality in later life.<\/span><\/p>\n

    12 Steps to More Effective Parenting<\/strong><\/h2>\n

    The challenges thrown by parenting may not have a personal precedent to guide you. But they have been with us since ages; it\u2019s just that they have gotten more diverse and difficult over time. Then, how do you walk the tight rope so that you can survive it and better still, begin liking each other? Well, here\u2019re my Top Tips, rooted in my personal experience of bringing up two (fairly successful) daughters, which may make your parenting a little more peaceful and manageable.<\/span><\/p>\n

    With fewer children, busier, double-income couples and a hyper-connected world, the parenting challenges posed by this generation are slightly different but the basic ideas stay\u00a0 the same. Every parent you meet has their unique stories about how they managed to bring up their kids in the face of tough challenges. But from a different perspective, \u201cbringing up children\u201d is old hat now as it\u2019s time for \u201cbringing up parents\u201d as the focus needs to be shifted to making parents more competent in terms of upbringing. There is sufficient research on child growth and development to indicate that parents have been in the wrong about many parenting practices.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Quite often, first-time parents don\u2019t have any clue to their future journey as\u00a0 nurturers and providers. But thankfully, plenty of help is always available from parents, friends and the media. A word of caution, though- their pearls of wisdom may work but you shouldn\u2019t expect a X-creates-Y type of scenario as children come in all shapes, sizes and colours and may behave quite disparately and unpredictably. So, I am firmly convinced that a parent must \u201cknow\u201d the child before trying out any of the well-intentioned ideas. It\u2019s a hit-and-trial thing until you find just the right thing for yourself and your child. So, constant experimentation here is the key.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Here is on to the best-ever words of parenting wisdom I have learnt bringing up two daughters of mine and by watching others:<\/span><\/p>\n

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    1. \n

      Walk the Talk<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      In a parent-child scenario, the kids almost never do what they are told to; rather, they tend to copy what they see around them. Kids are quick learners and absorb much from watching their parents and other adults in day to day living. So before you yell at any one with your kids around, think of it: Would you like your kid to behave like that? NO. Therefore, you need to model the traits you would like them to cultivate \u2013 be it honesty, truth, mercy, patience or tolerance. My now-grown up daughters tell me that as kids, they always tried to copy every single thing that I used to do then\u2013 habits, manners, activities and hobbies. The idea is clear: Treat your kids the way you expect others to do to you.<\/span><\/p>\n

      Children learn not only unconsciously always; learning happens consciously, too.\u00a0 In this regard, reading them stories and sharing their major points with them paid me rich dividends. The story of Henna Chaplin, Charlie Chaplin\u2019 mother, was\u00a0 particularly telling in this regard. Though my daughters Ishani and Inayat would sometimes resent that I was trying to teach them something but the values I tried inculcating did seep through their impressionable minds. And I can see that in their personas today.<\/span><\/p>\n

      Another valuable thing I learnt from her example was treating kids like mature adults. As a conscious practice, I never pressurized them into following my line, but I did guide and counsel them whenever needed, especially because there was this\u00a0 constant fear of their being misled. There was a general belief about our \u201cdecent\u201d financial standing but no one knew about the sixty crore rupee debt I owed!<\/span><\/p>\n

      Though I counselled them about the pros and cons of various career alternatives, the final choice rested on them. It\u2019s satisfying to see them make successful strides in their careers.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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      1. \n

        Giving an earful<\/b><\/h3>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Talk to a life coach<\/span> and they will tell you that the cat of listening may take more labour but it is more important than talking. Listening to your kids attentively shows them that you respect them and prepares a positive ground for a conversation. While talking,<\/span><\/p>\n

          \n
        1. Maintain eye contact<\/span><\/li>\n
        2. Interpose your kid\u2019s conversation with a \u201cHmm\u201d and \u201cYeah\u201d to show that you are really listening to them.<\/span><\/li>\n
        3. Avoid interrupting them while they speak.<\/span><\/li>\n
        4. Try to clarify if you don\u2019t get what they say with a \u201cCan you explain that again?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          Watch This Video to Learn Advanced Parenting Skills<\/strong><\/p>\n