Today, if you\u2019re a very young couple, the options for you are endless. Find someone in the office, find them here and there. Check your Instagram or Facebook, or if not, go find someone on Tinder and Bumble.<\/span><\/p>\n Earlier love bloomed slowly and gradually with few options. Today endless choices make love feel like a limitation rather than a soulful desire.<\/span><\/p>\n Despite having connections just a text away, the modern human feels lonely.<\/span><\/p>\n And what do we do when we feel lonely? We put all the pressures of other relationships on our romantic relationship. We expect them to be a friend, a mother, a father, a therapist, a community\u2014everything. But it is impossible for one person to fulfill all our emotional needs .<\/span><\/p>\n Remember earlier, when we would go out to play or neighbors would get together or people would live in bigger families? Yes, it fostered a sense of community, right?<\/span><\/p>\n Now brands have taken over this space. That\u2019s why we fight over Apple vs Samsung\u2014it brings a sense of real community. So, what’s the solution to this?<\/span><\/p>\n Checkout: \u00a0The Power of Pre-Marriage Counseling: A Guide to a Strong and Healthy Relationship<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n Don\u2019t rely on your partner for a sense of security\u2014it will cause you to lose some of your chemistry. Find passions, whether you’re a housewife, househusband, working husband, or a working wife.When you glow on your own your relationship blooms too .<\/span><\/p>\n I run 3 companies, do life coaching and business coaching, look after my children, and still manage to make time. And I realize because of my “me time,” I perform better in other areas of my life.<\/span><\/p>\n Do you rely on your partner to feel a sense of purpose or security in life?<\/span><\/p>\n You might be overburdening them. Find your own sense of purpose in life<\/span>Your partner can walk with you\u2014but not carry you.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n When I, Ritu Singal<\/a><\/strong>, conducted marriage counselling, I found that couples these days overly rely on their partner for everything, and when their expectations aren\u2019t met, they feel disheartened.<\/span><\/p>\n After showing them how to manage their time and build some harmony, I realized they had more expectations from their partner than anybody else. They would tell all the complaints of their life to their partner.<\/span><\/p>\n When someone continuously pours out negative energy, we associate that person with negativity.<\/span><\/p>\n Sharing is fine, but overburdening one person can create a lost sense of intimacy.Also it removes mystery. The mystery keeps the spark alive.<\/span><\/p>\n And then, when you argue or have a fight, it feels like your entire world is crashing\u2014because you made them your whole world.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n Hence, talk to friends. If you have a problem sharing, you can describe it as someone else\u2019s problem.Then try counselling. Learn and grow every day.<\/span><\/p>\n Learning how to be more funny or charismatic and taking efforts to chart your date nights can be healthy.<\/span><\/p>\n Don\u2019t stop being the muse for your partner if you\u2019re a woman, and don\u2019t stop pursuing your partner if you\u2019re a man. After we get into the relationship and marriage, we think we’ve conquered it all! But the real relationship begins after the marriage. Your love story doesn’t end with happily ever after.It is not a movie .Its not a fairytale. You have to keep working to make it seem like a fairytale.<\/span><\/p>\n Hence, if you have kids, be playful and loving around your partner in front of them. Kids learn and imitate what they see from their parents. That\u2019s how they learn healthy love.<\/span><\/p>\n Engage in physical intimacy. Respect each other\u2019s “no”s and when to be gentle in physical intimacy. But have physical intimacy every week\u2014or some sort of gestures such as hugs, cuddles, and more.<\/span><\/p>\n Next, respect your partner\u2019s need for space. When you respect your partner\u2019s need for space, you create proper distance. Space creates distance for love to breathe. It creates mystery, a longing which keeps love alive. Dont try to smother this spark.<\/span><\/p>\n You may create a fantasy bond when you come from a sense of hurt.<\/span><\/p>\n If you\u2019re a person who constantly values routine over spontaneity in your relationship, pause take a deep check and reflect. Why do you do that? Next, if you keep valuing safety over passion\u2014keep doing the safe thing\u2014maybe you and your partner are just going through the motions of your relationship<\/a><\/strong>. <\/span><\/p>\n Or maybe both of you are scared of fusing your identity with each other. Or you\u2019re on the other side of the spectrum, where you completely lose yourself in the relationship and forget about your hobbies, your self-independence\u2014things that excite you.<\/span><\/p>\n Then slowly, you begin to lose real feelings for your partner and enter a fantasy bond. <\/span>In this bond, you play the role of a couple without truly feeling like one.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n But you can get the excitement and spark back that you once had in the relationship. Yes indeed, you can.<\/span><\/p>\n Marriage counselling and other forms of counselling can help with this.<\/span><\/p>\n When you see your partner as an extension of yourself, you lose that chemistry that drew you towards them.<\/span><\/p>\n But if you view them as the independent and attractive person they are, you can maintain that sense of excitement.You didnt fall in love with a mirror but a mystery<\/span><\/p>\n Drinking too much or overeating is often a coping mechanism to reduce the distance between you and your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n Sure, other traumas play a part\u2014but in this scenario, this is what usually happens.<\/span><\/p>\n All of these small things cause boredom or a lack of spark in your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n One healthy way is through boundaries.<\/span><\/p>\n Think about people when they first fall in love. What brings them close to each other is their unique qualities. Let them associate you with love.<\/span><\/p>\nOne Partner Carries the Burden of All<\/b><\/h3>\n
Why \u2018Me Time\u2019 Matters in Relationships<\/b><\/h2>\n
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<\/p>\nPartner or Life Expectations Carrier?<\/b><\/h3>\n
Reignite Your Spark<\/b><\/h3>\n
Intimacy and Space<\/b><\/h3>\n
Trauma or Trauma Bonded?<\/b><\/h3>\n
How Do You View Your Partner?<\/b><\/h3>\n
So How Do We Exactly Get Out From This?<\/b><\/h3>\n